It has been reported that the 49ers are expected to have $100 Million in Salary Cap Room in 2017. $100MM is the combined figure of cap room carried over in 2016…

and available in 2017 once Kaepernick opts out of his contract as he is expected to do. With so much money available to the team, there is no doubt that they have their fair share of options.

After mulling over the team's possibilities, it became clear, that even purchasing the Florida Panthers was out of the question, and so utilizing NHL players in place of the 49ers roster was not an option. Instead, the team will opt to purchase the entire Canadian Football League.

With the average value of a CFL franchise pegged at $9-10MM and 9 teams in the league, the 49ers will opt to purchase the entire CFL... the average value provides enough flexibility to include teams like the Toronto Argonauts who have slightly higher franchise values. Best known for talent like Warren Moon, Doug Flutie, Jeff Garcia, and Rahib 'Rocket' Ismail, the CFL harvests a few NFL players and occasional NFL star...

Given the 49ers franchise utter state of disrepair, this move will give them a large enough pool of players, coaches, managers, trainers, and even cheerleaders to put together a roster that is actually capable of competing in the NFL. A team that will no doubt be better than the 2016 variety we have been embarassed by. The complete incomptence of the 49ers franchise will be able to pool the resources of an entire league inorder to better compete for the coming year. The move will also signal the end of tenure for many at the top of the organization, while giving hope and possibility to the Canada's meager '3 down' attempt at the game of football.



This article is obviously meant as a satirical commentary on the 49ers and though it does contain some factual information, it is purely for entertainment purposes.